Mindset training is the only exercise you truly need to master in order to be successful in this lifetime.
With a healthy mindset, you can conquer any goal, transmute any pain, and progress to success despite any obstacles that stand in your way.
But the biggest mindset training struggle that stands in the way of becoming successful, is differentiating between expectations and goals.
& Why Expectation Recalibration So Crucial For Success
Goals are the finish line or the milestones of ambition, where expectations are how we perceive our experience as we reach for or meet those goals.
For example: I could set a goal to lose 20 pounds in the next three months, but what is my expectation?
“There are goals and there are expectations. Knowing the difference between the two before you chase either is life changing.“Tiffany Amaro,
Your Lifestyle Revolution Mentor
Too often, we set goals without considering how we should expect to feel along the way or after we’ve succeeded or failed at achieving them.
And – even worse – sometimes we absentmindedly create poor expectations for our goals and then give up because those expectations aren’t met.
This is especially true of challenging goals, like losing weight or starting a business.
“Goals, no matter how unreasonable or challenging, are only given up on when our expectations are disappointed. “Tiffany Amaro,
Your Lifestyle Revolution Mentor
If you want to lose 20 pounds in three months and expect it to look as easy and beautiful as the women you see on Instagram, you’re gonna have a bad time.
And, most likely, you’ll fail because your expectations and willpower get exhausted.
However, if you want to lose 20 pounds in three months and expect it to be challenging, difficult, and rewarding in the end, you’ll continue to put in the hard work because you expected nothing less.
MINDSET TRAINING 101
Stop showing up with unreasonable expectations
My expectations used to obliterate my master plans and the reason behind that lies within the science of willpower.
“In studying my successes and failures, I found that the higher my expectations for myself were, the less likely I was to succeed.”Tiffany
Studies show that the more we fail to reach our expectations throughout the day, the lower our willpower to strive for them becomes.
This derives from two mental processes:
We have a choice to believe in either limited or abundant willpower, and, depending on which we choose to believe in, we’ll be influenced by it.
RATE OF FAILURE
Coupled with our belief system, the amount that we’ve failed in a day influences our willpower and our ability to persist.
In a nutshell, my expectations were killing me because I was: a) choosing to believe that my willpower was limited to how much energy I had in a day for a given task, and b) my rate of failure was too high.
Two things needed to change for me to regain a strong willpower:
EMBRACE UNLIMITED WILLPOWER
No matter how tired I am, no matter how difficult my day, I needed to understand that my willpower was limitless and entirely dependent on a positive attitude to continue onwards regardless of setback.
I needed to drop unhealthy expectations that – while noble – were doing nothing but wearing me down.
Once I completed mindset training for expectation recalibration, my life quickly became that much more pleasant, simple, convenient, and successful.
7 MINDSET TRAINING TIPS
For creating expectations that actually work
Learning to accept that your willpower can be limitless is easy.
Just cut out the excuses, take a deep breath, remind yourself why doing the task you’re avoiding is worth it, and then go do it.
The tricky part, the part that actually makes you say ‘no’, the part that kept fucking me up, anyway…is expectation.
Expectations, especially poor ones, will ruin everything you hold dear if you don’t learn to get them under control.
To make sure your expectations are in check, make sure you meet all seven of the following tips.
MINDSET TRAINING TIP #1
KEEP THEM LOW, LOWER, LOWEST
We humans, we’re an ambitious lot.
We like to think we can conquer the world overnight and, because of that, we set expectations to match.
Instead of expecting life to be easily conquered, and instead of expecting yourself to easily be the one to do it, take a step back and start from the very bottom.
Want to start doing pushups everyday? Thinking about setting your goal to do 50 per day? Thinking that’ll be easy enough?
There’s your problem, Betty.
There’s nothing wrong with the goal. There’s everything wrong with the expectation that it’ll be easy enough.
Knock your expectations down to nothing and remind yourself that starting from square one is often challenging on so many levels.
MINDSET TRAINING TIP #2
DON’T CONNECT YOUR EXPECTATIONS TO SUCCESS OR FAILURE
Create expectations based around your goals, not on them and certainly not on their success or failure.
If you want to lose 20 pounds in three months, set your expectation to feel strong, or complete more reps, instead of how many pounds you actually lose.
All too often the outcomes from our goals are very different than what we expected them to be.
Setting your expectations somewhere around but not directly intertwined with your success or failure will help you see success even when you fail.
After all, it’s inevitable that if you do 50 pushups a day you’re bound to feel strong, but it is not inevitable that you’ll lose weight from it.
MINDSET TRAINING TIP #3
CREATE POSITIVE EXPECTATIONS ALONG WITH YOUR GOALS
Don’t just aim to lose 20 pounds in three months.
Instead, aim to enjoy the process, aim to feel energized, aim to climb the stairs at work without heaving.
Creating alternative, positive expectations changes how you experience success.
But it also gives you something extra to pay attention to as you mark your success.
As long as you expect to begin feeling strong or flexible or energized, then whether or not you reach a weight lose goal at the end of three months won’t matter as much because you’ve met three other expectations instead.
MINDSET TRAINING TIP #4
STEER CLEAR OF STRESSFUL EXPECTATIONS
If your expectation stresses you out, drop it.
The more stress you apply to an expectation, the less likely you are to look forward to putting in the work to meet it.
Mindset training is all about recognizing when your mind is carrying you into unsafe territory.
That could be resisting doing the things we know we ought to do but that make us uncomfortable; it could also be pursuing unreasonable goals because our ego says we can and should.
Pay close attention to any red flags your intuition waves against your expectations.
It’s a clear sign that you’re setting stressful circumstances which have a higher probability of leading to failure sooner or later.
MINDSET TRAINING TIP #5
MAKE YOUR EXPECTATIONS WORK FOR YOU
Create expectations that work in tandem with your goals so that if you failed to meet your goal when you reach your deadline, you’ll have still met your expectations.
You’ll find yourself becoming far more productive when you can appreciate your expectations over your goals every time you strive for something challenging.
MINDSET TRAINING TIP #6
LIVE YOUR IDEAL LIFESTYLE TODAY
Your expectations should set you up to start living the life of your dreams.
If you want to become a published novelist, a goal of writing one chapter every morning, with an expectation of that being difficult to start, will help to get you there.
When we want big changes in our life, we often talk ourselves out of it because we think we can’t do it or it will be too difficult.
But only one of those two things are true: it will be difficult.
We are capable of conquering any goal we set before us, we just have to believe we can and work towards it every single day.
MINDSET TRAINING TIP #7
ENJOY THE PROCESS
Set your expectations to be things that you enjoy experiencing as you reach for your goals.
It’s so important to create expectations that are positive, possible, and proactive.
No one wants to set an expectation to feel pain or sadness or despair, but if those experiences are necessary for your journey, then prepare yourself by finding a way to enjoy that process.
Recently, I got a piercing. As many of you know, I’m terrified of piercings (though I have many tattoos…I know, it’s odd), so I had to accept that my expectations were rooted in fear.
And then I chose to embrace that and enjoy it.
I found it interesting to pay attention to my brain and how it wrapped itself around the concept.
And hilarious how it responded as the piercing commenced.
Long story short: finding a way to enjoy your expectations, even when they’re challenging ones, can be the difference between follow-through and failure.